When you're not living up to your own expectations, it's natural to have inner doubt. Our culture values perfectionism, and with so much noise out there telling us we need to be more and do more, it's easy to be consumed by fear and self-doubt.
The pressure to be perfect can destroy relationships with family and friends, cause anxiety and depression, and prevent you from achieving success in your career. It's time to ditch perfectionism for a more healthy philosophy about what really matters.
Here are five tips for letting go of perfectionism and finding peace with your perceived flaws as you aim to be a better version of yourself.
1. Accept your flaws and failures
It can be challenging to see the value in imperfect work or to accept that it is often what drives progress. You might tell yourself that it isn't good enough because it isn't perfect and continue to look for ways to improve it. You might not accept feedback from others and believe they don't understand your vision or appreciate your skillful execution. When you find acceptance within yourself and allow others' feedback, you can move forward with your work and know when it is good enough.
2. Stop comparing yourself to others
Though it's tempting to always put your best foot forward, resist the urge to compare yourself to others. Doing so only leads to frustration and dissatisfaction. You are your own person and have your own individual strengths and weaknesses. There will always be people who are better at certain things than you are but that doesn't mean they're better than you overall.
3. Don't try to hide your mistakes.
Because of their fear of failure, perfectionists often try to hide their mistakes or pretend they didn't happen. As a result, they never learn how to deal with the challenges they face and they never develop skills in areas where they are weak.
Instead, embrace your mistakes as opportunities to learn something new or overcome a challenge and move forward with confidence.
4. Don't let your inner critic hold you back
If you're a perfectionist, your inner critic will always be there, telling you there's something wrong with what you're doing, nagging at you, pulling out all the flaws and imperfections of what you're working on. You'll never feel good about what you've done because it's never quite good enough for your inner critic.
To quiet this critical inner voice, give yourself permission to release perfectionism. Allow yourself to let go of your need to be perfect, ideal or right at all times. Being perfect doesn't exist and being a perfectionist can hold you back from doing the best work possible or the best work for you. Letting go of perfectionism allows you the freedom to risk failure and the success that comes when you do things well or just play around with an idea that might not work out.
5. Cultivate self-compassion
Perfectionists often struggle with self-criticism and self-loathing because they set impossibly high standards for themselves. But by cultivating more self-compassion, you can be more compassionate toward yourself when things don't work out the way you planned – or when you make mistakes.
Instead of judging yourself harshly when something doesn't go as planned, learn to recognize your humanity and limitations.
Try accepting mistakes as an inevitable part of life. Make it clear to yourself that it's not your job to be perfect; it's your job to do your best every day.
6. Give yourself points in the right direction
When you achieve a goal, take some time to pat yourself on the back and celebrate your success. Even if you don't feel like what you achieved was particularly meaningful, celebrate it anyway. If you can learn to be happy with little achievements along the way, it will make bigger accomplishments feel even better because they'll no longer feel like distant goals out of reach.
Though these tips may sound simple, they are much easier said than done. But as a caring and compassionate warrior for yourself, you can adopt these strategies to train your brain to let go of perfectionism. And with patience and persistence, you can someday think in terms of potential rather than flaw.