Have you ever read Western self-help books or, specifically, those from the US? Have you ever tried to implement what was described in these books, but failed to be consistent in doing so and eventually gave up on them?
If you're still reading them, stop. Here are 4 reasons why.
The West have a different set of values and beliefs than we do
Westerners are very individualistic and independent. They don't like to be told what to do, or be told how to live their lives. They value freedom and independence, which is why they're individualistic.
The Chinese on the other hand, emphasize relationships between people, particularly with family members. We value fitting in and helping each other, which is why we're collectivistic.
Because of our different values, Chinese people feel uncomfortable when we read a lot of Western self-help books. Because it goes against our values. It's like trying to fit a round peg into a square hole.
It does not mean that everything will not work. It could just mean that you need to have more awareness on how cultural differences affect how you think and your decision to approach making change for yourself.
They do not factor in our unique circumstances and cultural beliefs as Chinese
Western self-help books tell you to be selfish, to find your passion, and to pursue your goals. They tell you that if you fail, it's because you're not working hard enough or smart enough. They say that success is linked to individual effort and merit. They say that if you want to be successful, all you have to do is work harder than everyone else.
The problem is that they're not talking about Chinese people, they're talking about American people! Every culture has a different definition of what exactly "success" means and how to achieve it. The Western definition of success doesn't really apply to Chinese people at all. Their formula for success doesn't take into account our cultural background or beliefs, so we have to re-write the rules for ourselves.
For example, the Western idea of pursuing your passion sounds great, except that in China we don't even know how to define our passions because we've been taught since childhood to study something practical and useful like engineering, law or medicine. We've been conditioned from a young age not to follow our passions but rather obey the commands of our parents and teachers. Even if we did want to follow our passions, we would likely be pressured by society not to do so.
This is just one of the many reasons why their ideas may not necessarily work for us.
They do not have to consider family, duty, and responsibility
Most of the books are written with a Western audience in mind. The authors have to do what they can to make the ideas they present relatable to their readers, and that means making compromises in one's tone and occasionally condoning behaviors that may seem immoral, unethical, or otherwise unacceptable to people of Chinese culture.
The biggest feature of Chinese culture is family honor and unity. As such, families are very important. Your family is your support group. Your parents and grandparents will be the ones who take care of you when you're old or sick; it would be shameful for them to suffer in their old age because you were too proud to accept help from them when they were younger.
These self-help books do not take into consideration of what we treasure the most. It would be difficult to apply some of their ideas into our lives.
When they do write with an “Asian” audience in mind, they do not consider the huge diversity within the entire continent
With the number of self-help books written in the Western world being close to the number of stars in the sky, it will surely be easy for you to find one that resonates with your life and its challenges.
When they do write with an “Asian” audience in mind, they do not consider the huge diversity within the entire continent. In fact, their ideas are often a reflection of what they know best: American culture.
When I read these self-help books, I always feel like they’re making assumptions about me just because I happen to be Asian. And I often find myself having to do a lot of mental work to relate their advice back to my own cultural context. Or sometimes it’s just not relatable at all.
The reason why these books aren’t effective for Asian people is because they don’t take our cultural differences into account. Self-help books assume that all Asian people have a similar background, which is not true at all. The level of English proficiency for example varies a lot between different countries in Asia. People also approach things in different ways depending on the country they come from as well.
As you can see, the differences between Western and Eastern philosophies are important and significant. That’s why we think it’s crucial that we find and create our own self-help books to better fit our unique culture. While we’re certainly not saying that these Western books should be completely off limits, we do think it’s important to filter what you read through the lens of your own cultural values. Whether that means sticking with a Chinese author or choosing a book relating to your unique circumstances (as one example), make sure you always keep your values firmly in mind when you read, because they will help to guide you on your journey to self-improvement.